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Actually, You’re Fine: Stop Over-Diagnosing Your KidsHealth
Clinical neuropsychologist Katie S. Davis says the rush to label every childhood quirk is leaving truly struggling children with fewer resources — and parents with more anxiety. Her new book argues that most children are simply fine, and that “fine” is enough.
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For many modern parents, an ordinary child no longer seems quite good enough. Every quirk invites a search, every struggle invites a label, and every label invites a plan. In her new book, “Actually, You’re Fine”, clinical neuropsychologist Katie S. Davis argues that this rush to perfect children is doing more harm than good — and that most children, left to themselves, turn out just fine.
Davis, a child development expert based in Manhattan, says diagnoses of learning disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder have risen sharply over the past few decades. Some of that rise reflects genuine progress: greater awareness, better identification and less stigma. But Davis told CNN that the increase is being driven largely by mild cases — children on the edge of what counts as normal — and by what she calls “concept creep”, the steady blurring of the line between ordinary behaviour and disorder.
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She is not questioning whether these conditions are real. Her whole career, she says, is built on studying neurodevelopmental disorders and supporting the children who have them. Her concern is what happens when the label spreads too widely. When every child in a class is said to have ADHD, she argues, it becomes harder for the child who genuinely has it to be taken seriously — and the time, professional attention, money and space those children need gets spread too thin.
A diagnosis, in her view, can also change how a child sees themselves. Being told there is something wrong that must be fixed can limit a child’s sense of what they are capable of, and of how much control they have over their own future. There are practical costs too: a child who does not really need speech therapy spends that time in sessions instead of playing football, going to day camp, doing homework or meeting friends — and the family pays for it.
None of this means diagnoses are useless. Davis says they matter for two clear reasons: they unlock services and support at school and payment for therapy, and they give professionals — and families — a shared language for a child’s difficulties. A diagnosis can also bring relief and community. The problem, she says, is a world in which a struggle only feels real once it has a medical name attached to it.
So where does the pressure come from? Davis points to a culture that trusts brain scans more than teachers, to the college race that tells parents a child’s whole future depends on getting everything right early, and to an internet full of experts — many with something to sell — offering conflicting advice that leaves parents feeling they do not know what they are doing. Her own example is close to home: her son, who is almost three, walks with his toes pointed inwards. She could start early physical therapy, or she could wait, as his paediatrician suggests he will probably grow out of it. Both choices are reasonable, she says — and parents have to learn to live with not knowing which is right. Most children, she notes, end up somewhere in the middle. And that, she insists, is perfectly fine.
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